Walking Across Fire

So, what’s up with putting on a game face.  It’s still being me as that game face is mine.  Is it a façade?  It probably can be, having to do with what’s going on internally at the time.  I always put on my game face when I’m playing a gig and it’s real for me, even on a bad day, because I get so deep into the character of who I am as a musician, that everyone feels it, including me. 

There’s also, the fake it till you make it strategy, which sometimes really works for me.  I put on my game face, get into character and if I can keep it up long enough, sometimes I really do have fun in situations I didn’t think I would and things really do work out.

And that’s the thing: if things work out, I feel good about myself and when I feel good about myself more things work out.  Now there’s a spiral I can get into.

When Kat and I first got together, she didn’t like my game face, considering it fake.  As years passed, she began to realize that it was more than a face; that I really did shift, mostly.  Now, she wants me to put it on whenever I’m feeling down.

Part of me is resistant to that, but, it’s that part that sees it as fake.  Actually, I like myself better when I’ve got my game face on.  I’m so up, exuberant, fun to be around.  It feels good.  Of course Kat wants to be around that.  Me, too.

I don’t know what the answer is to this, I just like looking at it and asking the question.

Some folks say inspiration is what’s needed to create, but, I say we can create inspiration as well.  Take journaling, which is basically what I do when I’m blogging.  By using a stream of consciousness approach, ie., just write whatever pops into my head, and keeping at it, not stopping or allowing myself to be interrupted, I notice that sooner or later I write something that inspires me, which is what I’m after.

If my writings inspire others that’s great, but, first and foremost I write to inspire me, because, by golly, I like being inspired.

I have sat around waiting for inspiration, walked around looking for inspiration, but it wasn’t till today, writing this, that I realized I can create inspiration.  I like that, I like that a lot.  I wouldn’t be surprised if along with this realization, my songwriting prolificness picked up.  I’ll keep you posted about that.

I played at Riverbend Church in Austin, TX this Sunday and it was AWESOME!!  Everything there is huge, the church, the stage, the band, the sound, the screen, backstage, the message; it was all wonderful to be a part of.  And the best part: I wasn’t nervous at all.  I felt like I belonged there.

When I first arrived the band, which consists of more players and singers than I can count, were practicing another number.  I was met backstage by the stage manager, who had a stage hand bring me a wireless set up for my guitar.  They placed a wireless mike in the center of a stage that was bigger than the first floor of my house. 

When it was my turn, they listened to my song, “Divine Guidance”, once, Carlton, the music director, counted off and we played through it like they’ve been playing and singing it as long as I have.  The lyrics popped up on six different screens around the church, including one pointing back at me and one that was at least 2 stories tall and wide behind the band.  Exhilarating is an understatement, but also doesn’t come close to when we performed during the service.

The energy soared 10-fold. 1,300 folks leaped to their feet.  I was awestruck by my performance, the band and the audience reaction.  Certainly what one might call a peak experience.

My brother and his family, who were integral in setting up this date for me, said it was rare to see a standing O happen with that level of energy there.  Man, oh, man.  A guy could get spoiled playing gigs like that.

I was talking with a friend this weekend, who was telling me how successful his company was after they redefined themselves.  My sister said she was in the process of redefining her company.  And I find myself doing the same thing.

The big question everyone asks me is, “What kind of music do you play?”.  I have struggled with this question and it has hurst my sales.  A close buddy says, “You’re the most defined person I know.”  He might be right, but that’s different from defining my music or my image for the stage, because as much as I want that image to be as close to the real me as possible, it must fit into something folks can relate to for them to want to buy my CD.

So, for all those interested, I am a storyteller whose music is a cross between Tom Petty and Crosby, Stills and Nash.  Give a listen.  You won’t be disappointed.

Got a new song with a nice twist in it.  That makes 7 towards my next CD.  3 more to go.  Sooner or later I’m gonna post these songs in rough draft mode for folks to get a peek listen to, but I don’t have that ready yet.  I am just so pleased I’m writing again.  It’s been a while.  Booking 95 gigs, yes I got 95 gigs booked this year with my goal being one hundred, takes time and energy, but I want to get these songs done, so that is now my focus.

The new song is called “Could be a Glimpse of Heaven”.

I just played up at the Unity of Fairfax in Oakton, VA and made more money than I ever did at a gig in my life.  I sold out every CD I brought; close to $1,000!  Man, I am psyched.  A new high.  There ain’t nothing like reaching a new peak, no matter what area of your life it happens in as long as it matters to you, or, in this case, me.  Thank you GOD, thank you GOD, thank you GOD!!!