Walking Across Fire

Whether folks buy or not, I could not imagine a life where I didn’t do what meant most to me.  We’re here for such a short time and I want to be the type of person who lived life to his fullest.  Became the person I dream to be.  Filled each day with those things I value most: love, mastery, art, beauty, health, relaxation.

It’s amazing how many opportunities there are during the day to love myself.  Almost moment to moment I am voting on loving myself or not, then loving myself or judging myself for the previous moment.

I did the lesson Sunday at Unity of Indy.  I basically tell the story of my life as it relates to different skills I have practiced along the way.  Skills like my guitar playing, my singing, writing, relationship skills, accepting and giving criticism skills and on and on.  Afterwards, because I have delved into my past on stage, I tend to dwell and not always on the good stuff.

My tendency is to dwell on those things I did that I consider wrong; where I have transgressed or wronged another- a great opportunity to love myself.  So, I remind myself I did the best I could, it’s okay the past is gone and what’s important is how I behave and feel in this moment.  And I do this over and over and over.  I usually have quite a bit of time as I’m usually driving home from wherever I have just played, spoke or both, as in this Sunday.

We stopped for something to eat on the way home (my son drove me to and from the gig).  I got barbeque, which could be construed as loving myself because I love the taste, or could be construed as not loving myself because my blood pressure is a little high and that stuff is not good for my health.  I was hungry, scarfed it down and then felt guilty for doing so, which is definitely not loving myself.

The clarity of the guilt was easier to see and deal with, so, with each moment I felt and heard myself express guilt, I released it and reminded myself what a mindful healthy guy I was and that I was treating myself healthier all the time, while still allowing for treats once in a while.  It took almost an hour of this exercise for the guilt to subside and my loving myself to win out.  Practice, practice.

A few years ago I started the practice of telling myself in the mirror each morning “I love you.”  I think it’s made quite a difference, in not only how I treat myself, but others.  There was a time I really hated myself, and everyone else.  An hour of guilt feels like quite the improvement to me.  Practice, practice.

I was asked what I meant by us not being in charge.

I’m saying our ego self thinks it’s in charge, but that we have a higher self that holds us to a bigger picture that sometimes our ego self doesn’t understand.

I am so grateful for all the responses I have gotten!  We are quite a community of powerful, spiritual beings, with powerful, creative insights.

One person reminded me that disappointment comes from thinking we’re in charge rather than God, spirit, our higher selves, or whatever we call it.  Something larger than ourselves and yet is also us, working for our good and the good of all others has the reins.

Rev. Ken Williamson of Unity of the Palm Beaches said (I’m paraphrasing) that part of our spiritual work is to KNOW that everything in our lives is perfect even when we don’t understand it.  I believe the better we get at this skill, the better we get at service, the better we get at relaxing and enjoying our day no matter what it looks like.

I appreciate you all taking the time to write to me.  We walk this path together.  Together- makes it a much nicer journey.

Blessings to you all!

I think the hardest part of my job is when the crowd responds terrifically, but CD sales are low.  If the crowd doesn’t respond, I know it, so, it’s easy to be unattached to sales, I know they’re not going to be great.

 But, when the crowd is dancing in the isles, on their feet going nuts, it’s hard to stay centered enough to be unattached to the expectation of great sales.

 And, just as life would have it, that’s the job at hand.  Given I’ve set my mission to bring joy and celebration everywhere I go, giving of my joy freely and with no strings is really important to fulfilling my purpose.

 I wonder if that’s true for all of us; our expectations build when we know we’ve done a really good job at something we love to do and, sometimes get let down by the results, allowing those results to take away from the good work we’ve done.

 The lesson is always the same: give of what we love freely, let the joy of that giving be our reward, let the presence of spirit in what we do be it’s own healing nature and know that healing nature in our hearts.

 It’s what we all want, unconditional love, so, it’s what we must give, in every situation, no matter what.  Not easy, but, I’m gonna keep working on it.

Had my best month to date.  Made over $2300 playing music.  A new milestone.  I look at that and I am blown away at my progress.  A voice inside my head, a very rational voice says, “yeah, but it’s not enough.” 

On one hand, that voice is right.  I’m not meeting my house expenses.  I do need to make more money.  But, I know the best way to get there is to celebrate the small steps, especially if they’re milestones. 

I hit the 100 gigs I was going for this year.  In fact, I’ve booked 102.  I’ve never played that many gigs in one year.  I am very, very grateful for these successes and I look forward to many more in the future.

Celebration, man, celebrating the little things helps me get to the big ones.  YAY ME!!  I am on my way!!